After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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