I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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