i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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