Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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