She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
