just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
false alarm, still single
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
