if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
