Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
