drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
