New invention idea: vibrating tampons
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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