so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
