I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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