So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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