She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
