I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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