I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
