I wanna passion pit in your ass
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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