I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
