my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
