I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
