I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
