my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
