I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize