Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
