I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
