I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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