I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
