eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize