So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
