nut hugger
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
