1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
