If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
