Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
