I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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