I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
