Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
