doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
