I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She bit a glass in half.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
