So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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