Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were trust falling into bushes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
