Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
