you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am available for nakedness
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
