i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
