I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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