I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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