Betty ford says i'm here all night
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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