So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you will always have a special place in my vag
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
