so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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