so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
