I hate all girls vehemently.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
