And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
