let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
