I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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