I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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