dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
