after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He felt like a one man threesome
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
