i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
