so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This house was built for laser tag.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
